New Years resolution

"Horses are creatures who worship the earth
As they gallop on feet of ivory
Constrained by the wonder of dying and birth
The horses still run, they are free

My body is merely the shell of my soul
But the flesh must be given its due
Like a pony that carries its rider back home
Like an old friend that's tried and been true"

Eagles and Horses, by John Denver 

2014, It is the year of the horse. The year of running free and being brave. I don't believe in making New Years resolutions. I don't think you should have to wait to change something in your life on a specific day. If you really want to change it, you start now. That's why when I found myself contemplating the new year and what I wanted to glean from it, on New Year's Day, I was astonished to find that I was making a resolution. I wanted to be brave, I wanted to put myself out in the world and be judged. I wanted to actually launch my photography career. 

I love everything about photography. I love the smell of the developer. The way a camera looks, loading film, developing film, the click of the shutter, and the anticipation of what the photograph will actually look like. I love Black and White pictures, I love bokeh, and fisheye. I love how holding a camera makes me feel. I love telling a story with pictures. 

When I was younger, in the days gone by, I would love to sit and watch my Dad take pictures. He would get out his camera and tripod, my Mom would give him a little advice on composing the photo. He would take his time and get the right aperture and shutter speed. After my Dad would get his roll of film developed, he would set up the screen and slide projector in the living room for family home evening. My mom would pop some corn and melt butter over it, yum. We would turn off the lights and watch the dust in air light up as we listened to the hum of the fan in the projector. It was magical. We would relive our memories, the memories of our family vacations or just red letter events in our lives. We would talk about the story behind the photo, the fun we had, it would bring up the feelings we had then when the photo was taken. We were back on the beach of Lake Tahoe, or hiking up to shadow lake from reds meadows. We would argue about where pictures were taken and what we were doing there, but it was still fun. 

I love photography, I have taken some classes in college, but I feel lost in this digital world. I have vowed to learn how to use my digital camera. How to use photoshop. I am putting myself out there and not caring who says I am not good enough. I like shooting a camera, I like my photos. I may not know the technical part as well as I would like, but that comes with time. I love expressing myself through a lense and a shutter. I will be brave, I will let this horse carry my soul along for the ride.